Thursday 17 July 2014

So I got an iPhone at some stage over the last few months which is great. I couldn't give a frig about instagram, twitter or any other apps. No the only reason I got the thing was for snap chat and more importantly Tinder.
For those of you who don't know what Tinder is here is my explanation of it:

Tinder is really a mixture between a dating website and a game. When you set up your profile you select a handful of photos and write a little bio about yourself.
Then you are away, from here there is a seemingly endless stream of single girls looking for prince charming or the closest thing they can get. You see a terrible girl you swipe left, you see a pretty girl you can click into her profile where you can see the remainder of her photos, read her bio and see what friends you have in common.
Like any game there are ways to cheat. At first I cheated by approving large amounts of girls quickly then deciding which were worth talking to (this way I saved time by not judging girls that were not going to match with me). The most effective way to boost the matches I found was by having a good first photo and a bio that was going to to make me seem like a better person then I actually am.

I guess you are probably wondering what kind of crap an egotistic asshole like me would put into a bio. After a bit of playing around I found the best thing to do was actually rule out girls…. or at least give the impression that I was picky. I stated that any pictures taken in a bathroom lost them 5 points and had a few other things that I'd dock points for. Of course I awarded points for stuff like a photo with an exotic animal (you would be blown away with how many have photos with either a tiger or elephant). On top of this I also had a little section where they could guess which of the following was a lie from a list of 5. This again boosted numbers, I guess anyone who reads the bio wants to know which are true, it is also a good way of showing what a great person I am in a nice way (joke).


Im going to start writing part two tomorrow.

Friday 3 January 2014

A few updates piled into one

Well I was getting worried there that the very first girl that I was going to log the relationship of was going to end in a…… relationship? Because that really wasn't the point. I'm still not sure what the point is but I may make for some good reading for somebody else.

So since my last update we had one pretty good date (a big day out that I wouldn't usually go the effort over) where she finally loosened up a bit. In all honesty I was incredibly busy at that time so I asked her along to an event a bunch of my friends were at (I had to fit all social activities for that week into the afternoon because I had so much work). Everything went great. After I helped her with christmas present ideas and we strolled through a craft market and then I dropped her home. I sorta impressed myself with the day to be honest.

Week before christmas (a week and a half after the late one): no date. I must have messed up somewhere. My phone was down but I had asked her out even though I wasn't really feeling there was any chemistry at all. I got a text back just letting me know that she needed some "alone time". Now I was pretty surprised since if anything I gave her too much space but on another hand relieved since the purpose of asking her out was to stop me chasing any other girls that would be more distracting.
 A week later she messaged me on Facebook, all was good back home and asking me a few questions.

Now she is a nice girl and good looking but I for some reason was feeling as though I was out of her league (even though I don't believe in leagues, a point I will touch on again). Maybe it was because she wouldn't be the type my friends think I would go for, she is a bit more serious then I would usually pick but hey beggars can't be choosers.

Now here is the kicker, I had lunch yesterday with my friend "A" who introduced us we had a good catch up where she filled me in on the latest gossip all of which would make me laugh and also feel a little shitty.

  1. The girl I was interested in last year (who is really nice but incredibly boring) was in a relationship with some Spanish guy. This initially made me happy as I wanted her to find somebody  since there is no record of her getting with any guys at all. The relationship lated one week (this made me laugh and even happier since I wanted her to be in a relationship but not in a good one). Apparently at the end of it there were tears even though she dumped him (yeah I am an asshole I sorta felt bad when I heard that).
  2. Alice had made out with one of  "A's" friends at NYE in their home town.
Now I am left here feeling slightly rejected by a girl that I was probably going to reject pretty soon, I'm not sure if it was a good thing or not but it did make me feel better about sleeping with somebody else a few weeks earlier. Unfortunately I have a new interest that is going to be far more tricky to take on since I am already in the "friend zone" (the most horrendous and inhospitable place in the world), I reckon I am setting myself up to fail here since I have a friend to girlfriend conversion rate of 0%.

Update:
I didn't message her for a few weeks. Out of the blue I got a text telling me that she didn't think it would work out. I couldn't help but agree but somehow I felt like I had just been dumped by the girl that I had already dumped.